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rose_in_winterCharacters: Aeris, Tifa
Rating: G
Contains: Spoilers for Aeris's backstory
Wordcount: 1152
Notes: Aeris/Tifa if you squint; set in Kalm. Written for theff_exchange chocobo races.
Betas:who_shot_kr
Summary: After Cloud's revelations in Kalm, Aeris goes to gaze at the stars, and maybe sort some things out.
Barrett is not a quiet sleeper; even through the wall Aeris can hear his bed creaking as he tosses and turns. Cloud is either asleep or feigning it; she hears nothing from him. Red XIII purrs in his sleep; she would tell him that it is adorable, but she'll save that tidbit for sometime when she really wants to see him puff up his fur.
For her own part, after Cloud finished his story of what had happened five years ago in Nibelheim, she excused herself early and went to bed, but not to sleep. She has been lying here with her eyes closed, breathing regularly, for over an hour; long enough to convince Tifa that she was asleep, at least, because twenty minutes ago Tifa crept on nearly soundless feet out of the room.
Aeris is not going to sleep, not with all these memories swirling around her, and it would be a great pity to waste a clear night when she can actually see the stars. She's seen them before; on one of her "visits" to ShinRa, Tseng took her all the way up to the balcony outside the President's office, and then melted back into the background while she looked her fill at the dazzling array of tiny lights scattered on a faintly green-washed black sky. She wants to see them without the eerie tint of Mako.
There is a little balcony outside the inn, nowhere near as fine as the glass and polished steel of the ShinRa tower. This balcony is built of weather-beaten grey boards, and it is not empty.
Tifa looks up quickly, rubbing her hand across her cheek, but in the moonlight Aeris can see the tracks of tears.
She perches on one of the chairs, just as weather-beaten as the balcony itself. She's never liked this kind of chair, tilted back like a recliner, but hard and built of broad planks. Still, it's what there is. "I don't mean to interrupt," she says, and she thinks she's struck the right balance between flippant and serious. "I was going to do the same, so we can just ignore each other and do what we came to do, if you want."
She meant it to pique Tifa's interest, and it works. Tifa turns to look at her. "Why?" she asks.
Aeris tucks her knees up under her chin. "I lost someone in Nibelheim five years ago," she says. "His name was Zack." Tifa's so quiet Aeris can't even hear her breathing; there's a watchfulness about her that reminds Aeris that Tifa is a skilled martial artist. Not that it's easy to forget, with her scarred gloves—that Aeris definitely hasn't thought too much about—and easy grace, but it's more of an active reminder.
Well, she did start it. Quid pro quo is fair. "He was in SOLDIER, First Class by the time he went on the Nibelheim mission. We dated."
"A big guy," Tifa says quietly, "with black spiky hair and a sword just like Cloud's?"
"That's him." Aeris tips her head back to stare up at the stars; she can't look at Cloud's childhood sweetheart when she says this. "When Cloud showed up in my church—for a minute, in the shadows, I thought he was Zack. Same silhouette. Only Zack had been dead for five years. It gave me a start." It's more than that—she sees Zack every time Cloud moves, but she won't burden Tifa with that.
"I remember him." Tifa sighs a little. "He was...very kind, when he came to Nibelheim with Sephiroth—and Cloud." There's a little hesitation there. Aeris sneaks a glance out of the corner of her eye and sees Tifa staring up too. Tseng taught her the Wutaian names of the patterns the stars make, but she can never remember them; that's just meaning that people try to ascribe to something bigger than they are, but they can't think big enough. The Planet knows that every star out there has its own name and its own story. There are too many for her to remember. Even Cetra can't think that big.
She wants to ask so many things, but she's not sure which to ask first.
"When Cloud and I met again in Midgar," Tifa says, "I didn't recognize him for a moment. He looked so different—so much more muscle, and the hair. Nothing like the boy I knew, but he looked so much like Zack that I thought I was back in one of my nightmares."
Aeris can't help flinching. Tifa knows. She reaches out, slowly enough that Tifa could ignore it if she wants to. Instead, Tifa's hand closes around hers. Both of them have hands callused from their work and their fighting styles, though the calluses are in different places. Aeris squeezes a little, and Tifa squeezes back.
The silence spins out between them; there's nothing to say to this realization. Aeris knows that the others are drawing a little triangle between herself, Tifa, and Cloud; she wonders if they would do it more, or less, if they knew that Cloud isn't who either of them sees when they look at him.
Tifa sighs, and tips her head back until she's staring straight up at the stars. Aeris does the same, and marvels at the size of the sky, so much bigger than this Planet alone.
"What are you going to do?" Tifa asks, and in it, Aeris hears already that Tifa is steeling herself for losing Cloud.
"Nothing," Aeris says. "He's not—he's not Zack, and it's not fair to expect him to be." She turns her head a little; fresh tears glitter on Tifa's cheek. "And you?"
Tifa shakes her head. "He's not Cloud, either," she says. "How...?"
Holding hands is not enough contact; Aeris gets out of her chair and goes to perch on the arm of Tifa's. Tifa leans her head against Aeris's side, and that warmth is so comforting. Aeris breathes deep of air that doesn't stink of mako and despair, and watches the stars glitter above her. "I don't know," she says.
Silence falls, more potent than any spell wrenched from the lifeblood of the Planet. "You don't have to know," Aeris says eventually; soothing wisdom has never been a trait she cultivated. She prefers sarcasm, but this isn't the time. She slips her fingers free of Tifa's and rests her hand on Tifa's shoulder, warm through the thin fabric of her shirt. "You can figure it out as you go along." She waits a beat. "I mean, that's what we're all doing. Cloud included."
Tifa laughs. "Thank you," she says, and there's an intensity to it that makes Aeris wonder if Tifa really would kiss her back. She doesn't think it's right to use Tifa's grief that way, though, so instead she just smiles, and they sit together, stargazing.
Rating: G
Contains: Spoilers for Aeris's backstory
Wordcount: 1152
Notes: Aeris/Tifa if you squint; set in Kalm. Written for the
ff_exchange chocobo races.Betas:
who_shot_krSummary: After Cloud's revelations in Kalm, Aeris goes to gaze at the stars, and maybe sort some things out.
Barrett is not a quiet sleeper; even through the wall Aeris can hear his bed creaking as he tosses and turns. Cloud is either asleep or feigning it; she hears nothing from him. Red XIII purrs in his sleep; she would tell him that it is adorable, but she'll save that tidbit for sometime when she really wants to see him puff up his fur.
For her own part, after Cloud finished his story of what had happened five years ago in Nibelheim, she excused herself early and went to bed, but not to sleep. She has been lying here with her eyes closed, breathing regularly, for over an hour; long enough to convince Tifa that she was asleep, at least, because twenty minutes ago Tifa crept on nearly soundless feet out of the room.
Aeris is not going to sleep, not with all these memories swirling around her, and it would be a great pity to waste a clear night when she can actually see the stars. She's seen them before; on one of her "visits" to ShinRa, Tseng took her all the way up to the balcony outside the President's office, and then melted back into the background while she looked her fill at the dazzling array of tiny lights scattered on a faintly green-washed black sky. She wants to see them without the eerie tint of Mako.
There is a little balcony outside the inn, nowhere near as fine as the glass and polished steel of the ShinRa tower. This balcony is built of weather-beaten grey boards, and it is not empty.
Tifa looks up quickly, rubbing her hand across her cheek, but in the moonlight Aeris can see the tracks of tears.
She perches on one of the chairs, just as weather-beaten as the balcony itself. She's never liked this kind of chair, tilted back like a recliner, but hard and built of broad planks. Still, it's what there is. "I don't mean to interrupt," she says, and she thinks she's struck the right balance between flippant and serious. "I was going to do the same, so we can just ignore each other and do what we came to do, if you want."
She meant it to pique Tifa's interest, and it works. Tifa turns to look at her. "Why?" she asks.
Aeris tucks her knees up under her chin. "I lost someone in Nibelheim five years ago," she says. "His name was Zack." Tifa's so quiet Aeris can't even hear her breathing; there's a watchfulness about her that reminds Aeris that Tifa is a skilled martial artist. Not that it's easy to forget, with her scarred gloves—that Aeris definitely hasn't thought too much about—and easy grace, but it's more of an active reminder.
Well, she did start it. Quid pro quo is fair. "He was in SOLDIER, First Class by the time he went on the Nibelheim mission. We dated."
"A big guy," Tifa says quietly, "with black spiky hair and a sword just like Cloud's?"
"That's him." Aeris tips her head back to stare up at the stars; she can't look at Cloud's childhood sweetheart when she says this. "When Cloud showed up in my church—for a minute, in the shadows, I thought he was Zack. Same silhouette. Only Zack had been dead for five years. It gave me a start." It's more than that—she sees Zack every time Cloud moves, but she won't burden Tifa with that.
"I remember him." Tifa sighs a little. "He was...very kind, when he came to Nibelheim with Sephiroth—and Cloud." There's a little hesitation there. Aeris sneaks a glance out of the corner of her eye and sees Tifa staring up too. Tseng taught her the Wutaian names of the patterns the stars make, but she can never remember them; that's just meaning that people try to ascribe to something bigger than they are, but they can't think big enough. The Planet knows that every star out there has its own name and its own story. There are too many for her to remember. Even Cetra can't think that big.
She wants to ask so many things, but she's not sure which to ask first.
"When Cloud and I met again in Midgar," Tifa says, "I didn't recognize him for a moment. He looked so different—so much more muscle, and the hair. Nothing like the boy I knew, but he looked so much like Zack that I thought I was back in one of my nightmares."
Aeris can't help flinching. Tifa knows. She reaches out, slowly enough that Tifa could ignore it if she wants to. Instead, Tifa's hand closes around hers. Both of them have hands callused from their work and their fighting styles, though the calluses are in different places. Aeris squeezes a little, and Tifa squeezes back.
The silence spins out between them; there's nothing to say to this realization. Aeris knows that the others are drawing a little triangle between herself, Tifa, and Cloud; she wonders if they would do it more, or less, if they knew that Cloud isn't who either of them sees when they look at him.
Tifa sighs, and tips her head back until she's staring straight up at the stars. Aeris does the same, and marvels at the size of the sky, so much bigger than this Planet alone.
"What are you going to do?" Tifa asks, and in it, Aeris hears already that Tifa is steeling herself for losing Cloud.
"Nothing," Aeris says. "He's not—he's not Zack, and it's not fair to expect him to be." She turns her head a little; fresh tears glitter on Tifa's cheek. "And you?"
Tifa shakes her head. "He's not Cloud, either," she says. "How...?"
Holding hands is not enough contact; Aeris gets out of her chair and goes to perch on the arm of Tifa's. Tifa leans her head against Aeris's side, and that warmth is so comforting. Aeris breathes deep of air that doesn't stink of mako and despair, and watches the stars glitter above her. "I don't know," she says.
Silence falls, more potent than any spell wrenched from the lifeblood of the Planet. "You don't have to know," Aeris says eventually; soothing wisdom has never been a trait she cultivated. She prefers sarcasm, but this isn't the time. She slips her fingers free of Tifa's and rests her hand on Tifa's shoulder, warm through the thin fabric of her shirt. "You can figure it out as you go along." She waits a beat. "I mean, that's what we're all doing. Cloud included."
Tifa laughs. "Thank you," she says, and there's an intensity to it that makes Aeris wonder if Tifa really would kiss her back. She doesn't think it's right to use Tifa's grief that way, though, so instead she just smiles, and they sit together, stargazing.